A cat on the window sill

Wise old man

2012-01-11T21:52:00.000+01:00

I think I have a bit of a writer's block. I mean, plenty of things happen. If you watch the news, the world seems to be a mess. But now, as I'm writing this, on television there is an 88-years old man, whose name everybody in our country knows as most famous soccer commenter. He just got a lifetime achievement award for his career.

Watching that old, wise man, a bit unsteady because his body grew old too, makes my heart swell. He makes me think of my grandfather. There isn't a single reason why, but he does. And I'm always glad when I remember my grandfather.

Feeling like they slipped away.

2012-01-10T21:23:00.000+01:00

I almost had to cry today. I had the 'difficult' group again. Two other kids left, mostly because they had no future at our school. One of them came in to say goodbye to his classmates. What he said at the end shocked me - that they had to 'get' their main teacher. I thought it was a mean thing to say, and I still don't understand where it comes from. Their teacher is at home, sick, I guess because she was afraid to meet this class again today. They don't like her, and they think she doesn't like them. But she cares . A lot. I often saw her cry for them. I don't know what happened that those kids are so hard on her. I asked them - they told me to let it be, they couldn't explain. I guess that's not my battle, but it shocked me anyway.
The other one who left is a different story.
The boy struggles. He can't focus, his results were catastrophic. I think he's smart enough, but something is weighing him down. Like really. He's one of the best musicians I've ever met, but you can tell he's heart is heavy. I'm not sure, but I think he has done something in the past that he has not forgiven himself. Plus a very hard situation at home.
And now he's gone. Out of my reach. I can't help it, I keep seeing his eyes. I really hesitated to visit him during holidays. But I thought it was strange, I didn't want to force it. Now I regret that. I think he wants to make a fresh start (again, that's why he came to our school too). That would be a good thing, except that he won't be able to start fresh if he's carrying around things he cannot share with anybody. So I'll contact his mother, write him a postcard. Just to let him know that I won't forget him. That I'll be there, even if I don't teach him anymore. That I'm prepared to listen. Listen, not judge.

I hope, I pray for that chance. I can't give up on him. I just can't.

Why I love my job

2012-01-09T21:52:00.001+01:00

First day at school again. There is one student that surprises me every time. He doubles his year- much due to a huge lack of motivation last year. He's more than smart enough. He had the potential to become very annoying and a real troublemaker. But he took this with pride, and he has such a good influence on the group he's in now. Beautiful to see, he's not afraid to think things through, to critique without being impolite, to make a point and learning from other points of view.

I hope at the end of the year I can tell him that.

Purpose

2012-01-08T20:52:00.000+01:00

The movie yesterday night was really beautiful. There's a lot to be said about watching in 3D though - it was well used, but still my eyes didn't adapt quickly enough. It's very fatiguing to have the camera decide for you where to look. If my eyes focus on something, but the camera on something else, I have no choice but to follow - so my eyes work twice as hard. I don't know why 3D cinema has that effect on me (because if I think about it - in regular cinema, the camera also makes a choice for you), but I don't like it all too much. But then again, Hugo was a lovely, slightly magical movie. And there was one quote I loved so much, that I repeated it for twenty minutes after it was said, because I didn't want to forget it.

If you lose your purpose, it's like you're broken.

Tomorrow it's back to school for me. I'm glad I found my purpose. Teaching is what I love the most...

A day spent dreaming

2012-01-07T18:27:00.001+01:00

We're about to leave for the movies. Holidays are almost over, this might be the perfect way to end it. I've been spending most of my day looking for a place to rent a cello. I've played the instrument for one year, a few years ago. I didn't spend enough time to practice, which is a pitty. But I miss it dearly, even with my piano on hand. Cello has such a warm sound, in there's so much comfort to be found in the simple feeling of the wood between your legs and the bow in your hand. So I might get to it again. The heart has its reasons.

Flowering forsythia

2012-01-06T22:01:00.002+01:00

Got quite a few things done today and my father-in-law came with his brother to repare the fence. They got some other things fixed too, and I like the idea of our house slowly becoming ours. I need this place to snuggle, to cover myself with blanket-like warmth. This whole trying-to-get-pregnant thing is weighing me down sometimes. Hence the flowering forsythia. Way too early, temperatures have been so soft lately. Crazy enough, it was one of the first flowers I knew the name of. How our memory works in mysterious ways!

And what if you would lose it all?

2012-01-05T17:29:00.000+01:00

Stupid, stupid. Instead of taking the vacuumcleaner of emptying the dishwasher of even starting dinner, I put on the television. But what I saw, was intriguing and devastating at the same time. It was a medical program about people who lose their memory in some way. A huge chunk of 15 years, in which I woman went to university, fell in love, got married, gave birth to four children... she didn't remember a thing, she had to start all over again, getting to know her family. And then another woman of whom only the really short-term memory functioned: she knew a lot of things from her past, but couldn't remember what she did this morning.

The program made me think certain things through. I've always wanted somehow collect memories, write down what I remember, document my life in some way. I'm glad I've blogged a lot over the past few years, at different places. I think I might try to gather pictures and blog text every few weeks, translate and add some journaling. See how that turns out. I already did that once, and I was very happy with the result.

I only know there are some memories I definitely don't want to lose... or that I would want to be able to find back if I ever lost them, even if it's just a story and a picture...

Are you journaling or documenting your life in some way? And how do you do that?

Blue, I tell you, it's blue!

2012-01-04T11:54:00.000+01:00

The last two weeks I walked around in our neighbourhood, hoping to find something blue. (And I am already married, can you imagine...). No luck. The only bright spots I found were bright red or yellow. And some blues, but mostly in the back garden of neighbours, and I don't think I would want to be 'caught' photographing through the holes in someon's hedge, to capture the little blue baby-bike. Would be a bit stalker-ish.

Great shots, but no blue. That wasn't the way I wanted my photographic journey through 2012 to start! Earth wonders is a challenge that speaks to me. I like to capture beauty wherever I see it, and it's mostly those small things that do the trick. It's probably the only challenge I really commit to, and which I'm glad to come back to if I missed a week. So starting the New Year and already go down on the first theme? Not me!!

Good for me, my dog has a new toy. It's actually a toy for little children, but it's a lot cheaper and a bit sturdier than most cuddly dog-things I bought for her before. She's a sweetie, but she loves to chew her toys to death, with a lot of commitment and care. So I wonder how long this little blue bunny will be around.

Since I still not made my mind up about that photo-editing software, I signed up to the Premium-version of Picnik.com. It doesn't cost me much, I'm happy with the possibility to make collages and apparently it comes with some fun editing tools. Just played around a little.

And it's blue.

(isn't it? I've had tons of discussions about this shade. I think it's mostly blue, other people consider it as rather green. I think this is turquoise - hard to define, but blue to me. And then you also have the petrol-shade question. Also blue to me, but I've met some huge opponents...)

I tell you: it's blue!!!

And down it went...

2012-01-03T17:25:00.001+01:00

I had a lot of things planned for today, but I didn't do any of them. Mostly because those things involved taking the car and driving a few miles to bring back some stuff to my mother and father-in-law. And our laundry to my granny-in-law, who just loves doing laundry. Really. (Can you imagine? The woman is far in her seventies, maybe even 80 - I woudn't know, to be honest -, and there's nothing she loves more than doing the laundry and ironing - so she does for almost the whole family).

I'm not afraid to drive when it snows or rains. But there's a storm going on, and huge flying branches are hard to anticipate. If it's not necessary, it seems stupid to me to take the car now. I did however carried around stones to put on the plastic that covers the roof of our garden shed. Most of the wood work in our garden was in terrible condition when we bought the house - it looked okay, but the previous owner didn't really care for it properly. So my father in law covered our garden shad with plastic and secured it really well. I guess this storm is just the little touch of 'too much'. So I threw some other stones on it and fought with ropes and stuff to prevent the wind from blowing too much underneath the plastic. It took me some time, but I'm proud of myself - the plastic didn't move since.

The fence in the back of our garden went down though. Luckily, there is a hedge (a bit naked without leaves, but still), our anybody could walk in right away if they would want to. I guess that if anybody would want to break in, the fence wasn't exactly the thing that would hold him back (there was a door in it that was quite easy to open, to say the least), but hey... there was a fence! And fences indicate a border, if not fysically, at least mentally.

So now I'm here for the world to see. Yes of course, I'm inside my house, but it's just the thought. And the back of our garden is looking odd now, with that door being the only part of the fence still standing.

(maybe you remember spring, fall, summer, winter... and spring - there are doors in the middle of nowhere all the time, it's funny!)

And if you were staring it me from behind that fallen fence: yeah, I'm all crawled up in the sofa reading a book, without the house being vacuumed or the bed linen changed. Because well, that's me...

So I went out for a walk...

2012-01-02T22:19:00.000+01:00

I went out for a walk. It was cold and windy, but I had a letter to post. The sun came through. I saw sparrows bathing in a puddle. Life was good.

In the newspaper there was an article about our love for doomsday scenarios. How there are far too many of them right now, in far too many different fields. Economy, ecology, energy, education... the article stated that scenarios like that seem to make us look wise. Pessimists seem wiser than optimists. Parties gain popularity by fear, whatever side they're on. Fear of foreigners, fear of climate changer, fear of absurdity.

In the end the author pleaded for more optimistic thoughts. He states that we love our apocalypse stories because we don't really really believe them. And that there is plenty of reason to be happy with how things go right now.

Although I can understand some of the points he makes, this kind of articles make me cringe a little. I hate it when people minimize things. Because what he doesn't mention, is the gap between people that grows bigger every day. The gap between those who have everything they want, and those who struggle to survive. It's that gap that drives us apart, that feeds the fear, that makes us unable to cherish what there is.

So I went out for a walk. It was cold and windy, but I had a letter to post. The sun came through. I saw sparrows bathing in a puddle. Life was good.

Firsts to love and dreams to share

2012-01-01T23:29:00.000+01:00

The first day of 2012 was a day spent with family, enjoying each other's company and the enthusiasm of the little ones.

There are some resolutions, but I'm not sure yet if I want to share them. I think I should made my mind up first, then commiting to one resolution, instead of trying to change everything at the same time. I can tell you they include health, reading, photography and writing. And love, on every level, but most importantly the love for my husband.

I think 2012 is going to be a good year. I wish for you the same.

2011

2011-12-30T22:11:00.000+01:00

The obligatory post - that I never did before though... 2011 was one hell of a year, in many ways.
Worked fulltime at my new school, gave lots of my favorite classes, got married, went to Indonesia, bought a house, loved my husband and my dog, went to Italy, spent time with the people I love, loved taking pictures with my new camera, got pregnant, lost the little appleseed, still dealing with that...

it has been a rollercoaster, and I feel a bit ungrateful to remember the big loop down the best, because mostly, 2011 was about hights, great achievements, love and happiness.

So, 2012, here's to you - I hope you bring as much joy as last year did, and maybe, just maybe, you'll fulfill dreams..

earth wonders - like birds to a feather

2011-12-28T22:22:00.000+01:00

There is something about little fluffy feathers that are stuck on branches. Whenever I see it, it makes me smile. It is pure poetry to me...

This is my last earth wonders entry this year. See you all in 2012!

Head over feet

2011-12-27T21:58:00.002+01:00

The day before my last birthday I bought myself some shiny new sneakers. To be honest: I didn't own any since high school - I'm just not the sporty type. I bought them to wear on some sports event at school, and only used them since to go on a walk with our precious little dog (the one that's really picky when it comes to walking indeed).

I moved here in September, and I immediately fell in love with the surroundings. The landscape is not that special, it's just that I feel like home here. Strange thing how, by taking a simple walk, you can feel so peaceful, so accepted, so right where you belong.

It took only a few moments to be overwhelmed by the beauty and simplicity of where I live. It's not open, it's not wide, it's no big forest, there is trafic. But there is something magical about seeing dew pearl on the greenfield right in front of our house. One day, a house will be built on it, now it's just pure beauty in its 'uselessness'. I love how coulours change every hour, how trees in a row stand out against a grey sky.

Head over feet. I just know we're gonna be very, very happy here...

Inspired? Share your own foot-story on Ana's Wonderland, she's hosting a fantastic give-away!

Dessine-moi un mouton...

2011-12-16T21:26:00.002+01:00

I live in a very small country. It's an important one, as our capital is also the capital of Europe. Sadly enough, we are almost only mentioned in contexts that aren't to be proud of. Like taking forever to have a federal government (more than 500 days past election, only to end up with more or less the same persons running everything). This post isn't about politics though.

In Liege, a man threw explosives into the crowd at the Christmas marked and shot himself right afterwards. Four people were killed, one of them a l7 months old baby. Many more were severely wounded. We don't know why that man did what he did. It's completely absurd. Pointless. Devastating.

The man had been in prison indeed. He was released after a certain period of time. He was married, he had perspectives. So it seemed. Of course now someone has to take the blame. Like the Justice department. How was it possible to release that criminal?

I think it's a sad fact. We always look for somebody to blame. The criminal shot himself, so the most obvious one to take that role is gone. We'll never know why he did that. Somehow we cannot seem to live with that lack of explanation. Nevertheless, it makes me sad, those vivid reactions against releasing people earlier and on probation. No doubt people who were in the same situation would pick up their lives, try to make something out of it, carrying the acts they committed as a heavy weight, being ashamed.

Maybe tomorrow someone else will open fire, for no reason, and with no criminal records 'to see it coming'. Who will we blame then?

Don't take me wrong. I think that criminal acts should be punished, even severely. But I'm also convinced that people should get second chances. Or thirds...
And the simple fact that indeed there are people who abuse of those chances, should nog justify our easy way of thinking "they're all the same".

Neighbourhood students made posters with a little sheep on it. Like the one of Le petit prince.
"Dessine-moi un mouton", "draw me a sheep".

Let's keep that innocence in each of us alive. That innocence that makes us walk out the door, meet people, love, share, live without fear. If we don't, we all died there in Liege, at the Christmas market...

Earth Wonders - Snow

2011-12-15T18:49:00.000+01:00

I'm honestly convinced I have the cutest dog in the world. Of course cavaliers are already destined to reach the highest levels of cuteness without even blinking their eyes (and don't get me started on those puppies!), but mine beats them all. She craves only two things: food and your attention (ok, that works for most dogs), but she won't beg you for a treat the usual way. She just stays around, looking with that big eyes of hers, waiting for something that magically drops off the countertop. I know very well how to refuse, but I might be the only one (when we're on holiday and she stays with an uncle of ours, she easily gains two kilos, just by looking at him!). And then, in the evening, when you sit comfortably, she lays her little paw on your leg, looking with those same enormous eyes. She knows she isn't allowed to jump on the couch, and she doesn't. But it's her way of asking permission to jump on your lap, where she will roll up herself and fall asleep within two minutes.

There are a few little things though - she hates to get out in the rain, or when it's wet. She prefers not getting a pee for more than 24 hours over getting wet. Yeah. When you put on her leash, she looks as if she's going to be butchered. She walks very slowly until the point where you turn around and go home. Then she's the fastest dog you've ever seen!

She likes snow, but last year snow was knee-deep. The reproaches you could read her eyes! What? You're asking me to get a walk in that amount of snow? And get wet? And cold? Mostly she did anyway, and jumped into the snow as does a rabbit. Until she had enough of it and then she just froze (ugh - nice word play, I must be the only one that ever came up with that...). So I had to pick her up to walk home, and then hair-dry the snow from between those long hairs.

* sigh * she's adorable. I can't hardly wait to get some snow this year!

Linking up with earth wonders @ wonderland

How you doin'?

2011-12-10T22:45:00.003+01:00

Hmmm, my Advent project isn't working out really well. Mostly a lack of time and inspiration.

And to be honest: I had put on that other blog on Wordpress, and I hated it to start everything from scratch. I had a good reason though: I wanted to keep this account (with the Dutch blog that's already on it) completely separated from that other one. So I could eventually give the link to stuff I posted to people I know, like collegues, without them sniffing around here. I like to be anonymous on the Web.
But I couldn't find interesting blogs that covered more or less the same topics, and, more importantly, shared the same loose, searching point of view I was looking for. I found it very confrontational finding out that blogging about faith often means an overwhelming omnipresence of statements about "our Lord and Savior". Don't get me wrong: I have nothing against that, and I've read some very inspirational posts, but almost exclusively with the focus on human beings as sinners as opposed to heavenly salvation. And a reading of the Old Testament as a huge forecast of the New. To me, that just doesn't justice to it.

Anyway, I had a hard time finding blogs to comment on. Which is my favorite procedure to find an audience myself. Maybe that's just a Wordpress thing, or me being retarded, but the whole finding blogs procedure and add them to a reading list, works better here.

Which is why I missed it here. I came back everyday, read all your fabulous posts and told myself to commit to my project. But maybe my standards were too high, the challenge I laid upon myself too big, or probably I should have prepared it more carefully... posting every day just didn't work out. I had some ideas, and I jotted them down, but I did'nt get to turn them into the blog posts I liked. Life got in the way.
I liked the idea though.

So I guess I'm back. And I will stick around, I think, because I like it here.

Faith

2011-11-28T15:26:00.003+01:00

I know it has been a long time. But I have a new blog, elsewhere, where I write in my mother tongue. There were some things I really want to write about, that are hard to talk about in a language that is not mine. About faith for instance.

I know it will be hard to find an audience. Mostly because the blogposts I discover about faith in the language I speak, are not really in the language I speak, if you know what I mean. An example: for me, it's painful to read about the Bible as divided in two parts, one of them being an older part that had to be updated. I don't think about Jesus as the fulfillment of huge promises. I can't stand those interpretations of the First Testament in which everything is related to the Second One. In that way of thinking, judaism should've fade out. It didn't.

I like to think that it is in our hands to make of our lives a Third Testament. To me, that's what faith is all about. Giving voice and hands and feet to the One. Recognizing Him in those who suffer. Making Him happen. For me, no need to prove His existence. He exists in me (and in tons of other people of course. In every one of us, I like to believe)...

If I want to lay my focus more on faith in the year to come, there isn't a better time to start than now. Advent.

Inspiration is welcome. Especially when it comes to Dutch blogs.

Shades of Autumn: purple

2011-11-04T06:53:00.002+01:00

I like how purple in Autumn is mysterious...

The nun and the pianist

2011-11-03T11:49:00.000+01:00

I cannot imagine that I would be the person I am now without my piano and my faith. Obviously there were a lot of brilliant and loving people who made me feel welcome, loved and planted the seed of selfconfidence - which is, in my opinion, the basic trust that you are who you are and fully accepted as such.

Music was my first love (sorry for the cliché). It was given to me by my dad. I'm still convinced that was the greatest gift he ever gave me. When I was about six years old, an old piano moved from my grand mothers house to ours. Immediately I felt like it would be mine to play. We all were given the opportunity to choose an instrument, as I was the first, it was as if the instrument chose me. When I am behind the keys, I feel free. I get a voice, I get confident, I get wings, I get inspiration. Playing the piano has given me about anything I could ever ask for. When I'm sad, the music makes me happy of gives me the chance to cry. Two weeks ago I cried, a lot. My songs were songs of pure despair. But the company of my piano led me through. It is my rock and when I'm away for a while, I miss it.

Strangely enough, music and faith have always been very connected in my life. I sang in church choirs, and our priest was (still is, but I've moved) a genius when it comes to music and especially choir works. I always preferred harmony over rythm, some chords just move you in such way they lift you up. Singing together in my opinion really brings us closer to what I imagine God to be like. I can be moved to tears by certain traditional songs in a church, choir works, organ music, or one single voice.

Music deepens my faith. When people ask me why I believe, I often compare it with love. Why do you love someone? I could compare with music too. What is it that touches us in a certain song, in a certain melody? It's exactly in that magical part, that undefined yet strong presence that can't be told in words, where I find God.

I'm grateful for my piano - it helps me find God whenever I look for His presence.

Earth Wonders: Brown

2011-11-02T07:51:00.000+01:00

I never had something with brown. At the contrary, I thought it was a granny-like colour, it didn't appeal to me at all. I think the love for deep, rich and welcoming comes with the age. Now I still love bright colours, but I surrounded myself with more natural and earthy tones. It has a calming effect on me and makes me feel balanced and self-confident.

And it's fascinating when you look outside. There are so many beautiful creatures hidden in the brown. Like this mudskipper I photographed in Java, Indonesia. They have such a 'wise' look, like they know it all, nothing can surprise them. If it weren't for those eyes that pop out, you wouldn't barely see them at all!!

more great beautiful browns are to find at wonderland

Shades of Autumn: red

2011-11-01T12:53:00.000+01:00

I'm late for this again, although I'm feeling a little better every day. My body is even with the missed abortion, my mind is slowly starting to heal. We're trying to focus on the good things, and spend time with each other. Of course there's the desire to make a baby, but try to let the love come first. I wouldn't feel comfortable if being together only meant trying to conceive...

So red was the colour last week, and it's a good colour, deep and honest, passionate and creative. I know that the picture should have at least 50% red in it, but this one is my favourite - that pop of red life in the steady brown...

Shades of Autumn : Orange

2011-10-26T09:32:00.001+02:00

I'm late for this. I didn't really have the courage to go out and take pictures (see yesterday's post). But I still want to complete this challenge so I'll do with what I have...

Vulnerable

2011-10-25T10:10:00.001+02:00

It didn't turn out well after all. I lost my little appleseed. Time goes by, I have to say goodbye to the idea of having been pregnant. I try to focus on new cycles, the possibility of making another life grow in me...

My first class today was a tough one, but a good one. It left me speachless, a little shocked. It's a group of students that most people don't like to work with. A few big mouths, in some cases complete desinterest and total lack of discipline and respect. But secretly I like them. I care about them. They teach me how to be the teacher I want to be.

One of those pupils will leave the school tomorrow. There was a procedure against him, first meeting of all his teacher was scheduled this afternoon. This morning he told me that he wouldn't wait for the decision, he prefers to make it himself. I feel defeated. I never had any troubles with that guy, he's smart and quite cooperative in my lessons. He's even very polite towards me. I like him, I believed in him and in the outcome. I was shocked to hear that he was totally different with collegues. Today I was even more shocked that this is the result of it.

I let them talk about trust today. They don't trust anyone. I think there are a lot of kids that are hurt in that group. They were surprised that I admit to trust very easily. It was as if they wanted to protect me. I made them write down the one condition that they think is most important to trust someone. Two things came back all the time: trust asks for a long term relationship, something you build on. And the other one has to be vulnerable too.

It hit me. How can we ask those kids for respect, for the basic trust that is needed in any relationship if we're afraid to appear vulnerable. What makes us so afraid to show them who we really are? We pretend to care about them, yet we're afraid of them. We fear to loose or authority, but the only way to gain it is by being authentic.

So I made myself a promise. No masks in that class. Maybe they'll hurt me, and hurt me bad. But I won't let them go.

Here's to you, dear S.: you have it in you. I hope things will work out for you. I hope you'll find the strength to be vulnerable someday too. You might get hurt, but you'll feel what it is to be cared for. And it will make you even stronger than you are now. I wish you the best. I'll miss you.

Get myself together

2011-10-17T22:15:00.000+02:00

It was nice to go to work today. Still feeling like there's a lot going on inside, I hope for the best. Normally I always make my menus on Sundays or Mondays, but this week, I didn't find the time. I'm going to work with what I still have in the fridge, the freezer and the cupboards. In about two weeks, I'll have a week off, maybe I'll use it to put back some things on track.

Time will tell

2011-10-16T21:54:00.000+02:00

After a very emotional weekend, I'll be happy to go to work next week, just to keep my mind from wandering around about everything that worries me. All the reading and looking up didn't help me any further, so I'll have to sweat it out and wait for time to tell...

Worries

2011-10-15T19:04:00.000+02:00

I'm not feeling well. Actually, it depends. I'm somwhere in between hope and despair. The bloodresults of Tuesday weren't too promising, but my doctor didn't say anything about it. I asked for a second test, a few days after. It became a week. Today I called a friend who's also obstetrician and she encouraged me not to wait. I called another doctor today and got the results a few hours later. They're hard to deal with.

The HCG (typical pregnancy hormone) has risen; which is good. But not fast enough, which is a bit alarming. It should double every two/three days. It has doubled in four. The other hormone, progesterone, level is OK, but not too high either. I can't compare here, cause the other doctor hadn't included it in the analysis. Basically this calls for another test in a few days, and maybe an early ultrasound.

So it might be quite wrong. I should stay calm now, stressing out isn't helping my case.

Shades of Autumn : Yellow

2011-10-14T18:06:00.000+02:00

I've seen plenty of yellow, but often on my why to work, when I don't have my camera. The most impressive autumn tree I saw was last year, in our old neighbourhood. Its yellow was so bright it made me smile all day. Don't you think yellow is such a happy colour? Yellow is a summer colour to me, but then again... it's so much richer and deeper in fall.

Below are the little things that caught my eye where I love now. I love the simplicity of this place... Enjoy!

Want to see more yellow?

Guess I'm having automatic work-outs

2011-10-13T22:41:00.000+02:00

I'm exhausted - and I feel like I've just done like 800 sit-ups. (Maybe you'd wanna know why). I think I need a good night sleep.

Earth wonders - Trees (and a little secret)

2011-10-12T17:45:00.001+02:00

This picture is taken last fall. In the park along the main road were some magnificent trees. I loved them, you don't find that many trees in a city. Since we've moved, we're surrounded by green, which is great. I'm hoping for some sunny days this fall too - the weekend looks promising. The colours always made me long for a little child - we would take long walks, and he would exactly know each tree.

It's a little secret that for the time being only me and my husband share.

We're pregnant...

more great trees are to find at wonderland

Honeymoon - Bromo volcano

2011-10-11T07:52:00.001+02:00

Friends of ours left on honeymoon a few days ago. Hearing them looking forward to it and planning their trip, brings back memories of our own honeymoon, six months ago. We went to Indonesia during the Easter holidays. Two weeks is way to short to fully appreciate the beauty and variety of that country, but it gave us a little idea on how life seems like on Java and Bali (the two islands we visited). It wasn't anywhere near a classic honeymoon: we didn't look for luxury but for the experience of nature. We slept in some great places, but also in very basic, even primitive rooms. I don't think we would do it again, but over all we enjoyed the experience (although we sat an awful lot in the car, and in our opinion, the local people could'nt care less about their environment - it doesn't seem like they're proud of it, which is a pity).

There are a few things that really impressed is though. One morning, or should I say night, we got up really early. Like in... 2am, to hike to the top of the Penanjakan. From there, you can watch the gorgeous sunrise above the Bromo volcano. We didn't get to climb the Bromo itself - it was still smoking and it was actually prohibited. People are afraid of it since the volcano erupted recently and people got killed. The amount of ashes was enormous and the landscape in front of it had a strange kind of beauty. It breathed danger and beauty at the same time. Of course, in the afternoon, we saw bunches of tourists trying to get there anyway. I think that's a lack of respect. If even the locals, who try to make a living getting you there on motrobikes, tell you they will take you there but won't wait for you if anything happens... that should say enough.

Anyway, the views from the Penanjakan were well worth the huge effort to climb it on a way too empty stomach. I cried two times on my honeymoon - that hike was one of them. I felt so miserable and I really had the feeling that I couldn't go any further. I'm happy I made it there nevertheless. There were a bunch of people there, but everybody got quiet watching the sunrise. Some things are too big for words...

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-10T06:16:00.000+02:00

I had a blast cooking last week! My greengrocer provided me with some fabulous fruits and vegs and I ad fresh fish on Saturday. Yum!

Things I liked a lot from last week were the pear & leek soup, the turkey with apples and salsify, and the fish gratin.

This week there will be on the menu:

- kale with chipolata and hazelnuts

- plaice rolls in a mediterranean sauce

- celeriac & potato gratin

- beef with black pepper and chocolate sauce

- red lentil curry

- porc with mustardcream

- cauliflower-brocoli gratin

Looking for some more inspiration?

Head over to the organizing junkie!

Fish gratin with pasta

2011-10-09T22:14:00.000+02:00

For each person, take a nice firm piece of fish fillet (I used seawolf, but the orignal recipe called for burbot - I think every firm fish works great for this). Bake it three minutes on each side in a little olive oil. Season to taste, pop them in individual oven proof dishes (or in one, choice is all yours!).

In the same pan, bake some brown bread crumbs (crumbled toasted bread does the trick), along with finely chopped walnuts in a good splash of olive oil, pepper and salt. It will provide a great topping, a chunky chapelure.

Cook the pasta. I like rather not too small forms of pasta for it. Something like penne of maccaroni or rigatoni. Once drained, reheat them in a little bit of cream and curry powder, add some chopped sage to the mixture. You'll obtain a nice and creamy pasta, to add to your fish dish.

Top with the chunky chapelure, pop in the oven (210°C, about 20 minutes, until the fish is cooked through) and enjoy with some green vegetables , like snowpeas.

Turkey with apple and salsify

2011-10-09T22:12:00.000+02:00

Wash and clean the salsify. It's not the greatest job in the world, but it's well worth it! Maybe you could wear those plastic gloves and keep the water running. Each time you skinned one, pop it in a bowl with lemon water. It will keep them from turning pinky brown. Really. They do lose their virginity fast *giggle*.

With the salsifies waiting in their lemon water, you can already bake and caramelize the apple in butter. Use thick slices of nice and sweet apples that stay firm. Once they got that golden look, you take them out. In the same pot, bake the turkey chunks till they're brown (add pepper and salt to taste), then lower the heat. Let them bake softly, while you're cooking the salsify in a combination of water and milk (again, to keep the beautiful pale colour). Drain them and throw a knob of nutter in the pan. Let it melt, and bake the drained salsify in it, with some fresh parsley. In the meantime, add the apple to the turkey and warm it through.

The combination of those three ingredients works surprisingly well, and my husband (who is not the biggest fan of 'strange' vegetables) liked it a lot!!

Pale leek & pear soup

2011-10-09T08:43:00.000+02:00

Here in Belgium fall has set in. After a crappy summer and then some unexpectedly hot weekends in September, fall has finally arrived. And along with the season, there's an abundance of apples and pears. I'm already a big fan of using apples in the dishes I make, but I also wanted to include pears a little more. And then I stumbled upon this recipe (based on a French cooking magazine, Guide Cuisine - the october issue): pale leek & pear soup. It's a simple soup, easy but very tasty and packed with (sweet) flavors!

Chop one onion, let it sweat in a little butter or oil. Then chop two big our three small leek whites, add them to the onion. Let it lose its crisp and become translucent. Then add one liter of vegetable stock, and two diced pears. Cook on medium heat for about 25 minutes, mix it. You can add some pepper, and a splash of cream (it's a beautiful white soup then).

Note: this was the original recipe, after tasting I thought the soup was maybe a little too sweet, and maybe also a little too thick. So you can play around with the amount of pear, and I would certainly add some extra stock/hot water.

The magazine suggested to serve it with dried pear chips (roasting very thin slices of pear in a 100°C oven for 1,5 hour), but I didn't have that time. I might try it sometime though, because it looks really nice.

Shades of Autumn : Green

2011-10-08T14:08:00.002+02:00

I am not a photographer. But I spent good money on my Canon EOS 1000D, and I know I should use it more often. And then I stumbled across this challenge. I thought it might be a good idea, and an occasion to look with a different eye.

We're having wet, cloudy, chilly and rather grey weather today. Not what I hoped for, not at all. I'm not good at taking pictures when there's no sun involved. Mostly because vibrant colours and sharp shadows often create depth, and I don't know how to the same when it's raining. If anyone has some advice to share on this, I'm happy to take it. I think the season will offer me plenty of occasions to try them out.

Want to see other (and better) pictures, reflecting the beauty of fall colours? Click on the button below!

Leftovers

2011-10-07T06:46:00.001+02:00

I really liked how my leftover vegetable stew turned out! I cheated a little though (and it wasn't really a stew either)...

I cooked two parsnips and made potato puree out of a package (you know, the powdery one. Dehydrated food - but I ran out of potatoes and I figured the rest of the dish was packed with nutritious ingredients). Mashed the two together, added a knob of butter, salt and pepper and chopped chives, into a quite firm mash. So far so good.

The sauce was made of peppers (a yellow bell pepper and a green one), diced and baked in oil and herbes de provence. I added chopped garlic, and then the rest of the already chopped soup vegs (fresh carrot, celery and leek, but out of a plastic bag again - I used half of them last week to make bolognaise sauce). In went two diced tomatoes, and to add some extra flavor and creaminess: tomato sauce out of a tube. You read it well. Out of a tube. Not for everyday use, in my opinion, but it does come in handy sometimes.
I let it simmer for quite a while, on low heat. It looked great!

I still have some leftover vegs though. A bag of carrots, half a pumpkin, a parsnip and a few tomatoes. Probably it'll end up in a soup. Other ideas anyone?

best friends

2011-10-06T06:29:00.001+02:00

We went out for dinner, with my husbands best friends. It's lovely to see how these guys interact. They know each other since they were in kindergarten, and they're 27 now. It makes me smile when I see that they only need a very small eyebrow movement to know exactly what the other one means, and the stories they share are just pure fun, even if they're told each and every time.

Their bond is even too beautiful to be jealous about. It's pure joy and happiness, and it reflects on their loved ones. Two of them are married (one of them to me of course) and the hearts of my family melted when they saw how nervous the other ones were. Same thing for the marriage of the other one.

If we ever have children, I wish for them to find the same kind of longlasting friendship that their daddy has with those two guys. It's the kind of love that reflects on everyone and always gets the best out if them. A love that isn't to be deserved, but to be given.

where the budget leads us...

2011-10-05T08:31:00.001+02:00

Mind you - this may be a bit of a rant. Or not. Don't know yet.

My husband and I have very different ideas on how finances should be handled. Luckily for me, he doesn't like spending time on it or figuring things out, so I'm in charge of the budget. I'm happy with that, to be honest, I wouldn't be at peace if it would be him handling all the bills and deciding if there's money to buy something.

We just bought a house. I can tell you, you never just buy a house. You buy the house, and the loan is one of those things you can anticipate. But then there's all that other stuff. Even if our house is actually ready, and we live in it very comfortably, it's not really finished. You know: painting, decoration, furniture, baseboards, garden. Nothing that's really urgent. All of the fixes that were done, we could live without.

We already spent a huge amount of money to the company that moved us. Money well spent, in my opinion, we would've never been able to do it that efficiently and that short amount of time - considering my piano for example. We had colour advice. Maybe even that was money well spent - nothing I would've done, but my husband loves perfection. And sometimes I think he wants to live out of a magazine. But he think of himself as someone who doesn't have the eye to come up with the ideas to work with. Instead of endless discussions, we hired a professional. At least now I'm sure he won't keep being uncertain about the decisions we made (and, by consequence, coming back on them).

I have a big car repair coming up and I was starting to see our savings leaving our accounts as if it were rats on a sinking ship. Each Wednesday, there is someone of his family working in our house (changing doors, repairing damaged tiles on the floor, stuff like that). He already bought some wood to repair the backdoor. He bought other things too. Necessary, not a huge amount, but still... I was thinking that painting wouldn't be for tomorrow. Unless that family member would do it and charge us hardly anything. I was quite happy with the idea of him coming whenever he found time, once a week, and paying him as it went.

But then there's my dear husband, who, if I would let him too, would spend every last dime of our savings. So he called a painter, to make a price offer. Luckily it was a nice woman, and since he wasn't home when she came by, I managed to have a chat with her. She seems to me like someone who loves a job well done, very precise and committed. She knows that in my opinion, this can wait a few months until we have the money in a more comfortable way.

So we'll see what happens from here. I'm sure that my husband would like to hire her, no matter the costs. He wasn't here, but she made a good impression on me, and that's enough for him. He's rather peculiar on wanting professionals for almost any job. I'm more of a "teach me how to do this myself" person. We'll have to meet somewhere along the way. Probably there where our budget leads us. And that's what scares me a little...

Act as if we're married

2011-10-04T06:16:00.002+02:00

I teach in a town with quite an important foreign community. The biggest group of them is the one that's most often in the news, and not in a positive way. Our school, although it sounds awful, is more or less a 'white school'. I teach several groups in which there are between none and only a few of foreign students. I teached in other schools as well, and although it has it challenges, I never experienced difficulties I couldn't overcome. One morning last week, when I walked from the free parking lot to school, a man suddenly started to talk to me while crossing the street. He happened to have seen a foreign man behind the wheel of a car waiting for the lights to change. He thought the man looked rather mad at me, a young blond woman. So he started to talk with me, just to give the impression to that man that we knew each other.

I was shocked actually. Once crossed, the man went his own way (so it was not a move to try to getting to know me - which would've been pathetic ofcourse, but in some weird way understandable). To me this was far more denigrating. First of all, the man assumed that I, as a woman, automatically would feel threatened by the look of any foreigner I don't know, and that I would be so thankful that 'one of my own race' protected me from it (he didn't use those words, but I realised the impact afterwards). Secondly, and that's what shocks me even more, he judged that man so easily! A foreigner, so he just HAS to look mad at some young woman passing by. Yeah, all foreigners hate women. They all oppress them. It's so easy to spit out things like that! But I wouldn't want to have my look evaluated on any given morning, when I'm in my car waiting for the lights to change. I'm a morning person, but my eyes aren't. Often I don't even pay attention to whoever passes by - that's why some people stopped going absolutely crazy waving at me, as I'm in thoughts so often, I still don't see them.

I was already in the teachers room before I even realized what happened. I wish I reacted strongly against what he said, in stead of the knodding and smiling I did.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-03T06:04:00.003+02:00

A new month, a new kitchen, good products, tons of inspiration,... I was really looking forward to reboot the MPM-habit! Probably on my menu for the upcoming week:

- stew with al the leftover vegs I can find

- round rice and sardine tabouleh

- turkey with apple and salsify

- pale leek and pear soup

- wild mushroom pies

- white fish gratin (probably burbot)

- garlic-terragon mushroom sauce, to go with chicken breasts

Want some more great ideas? Go check it out at the organizing junkie!

It's all about routines...

2011-10-02T10:15:00.005+02:00

I mostly love the start of a new year at school. But one thing I hate about it is the changing timetables, up until everything works out. Last week I was announced a major shift in my school timetable. And major it was - not even for the best (from my point of view). Add that to the whole moving thing, and it's not hard to understand that I find myself having difficulties establishing some new routines. I want to, though. I have to schedule a lote more if I want to stay on top of everything. I try to work for school while I'm there, so the time I'm home can mostly be spent at working around the house or caring for myself.

The fact is that I hate cleaning. I'm always glad it happened after it's done, but I hardly ever can motivate myself to make a start. I try yo implement some FlyLady principles, without going too crazy aboyt them (I still feel as if the systems works only for SAHM's - reading through the site and the gazillion mails, the whole FLY vocabulary is SAHM-centered). That's not a bad thing, but I'm not a mum, and don't work from home (and with the kind of job I have, that's not even a possibility).

Then I remembered a blog I always enjoyed reading. You should absolutely check it out. The nice thing about The flying drunken monkey, is that she's so real. She plans on a lot of things, and then only does a few of them, and she's honest about it. The way she tackles her goals, makes me wanna try to do the same. She made a great weekly planner, which I'm using right now. If I can limit it to only that piece of paper, it would be great. I have always a ton of lists laying around, which get to be updated on... other lists!

One of the routines Im' trying to establish is to load the dishwasher every night, let it run, and unload it in the morning. A clean kitchen is so nice to work in! We never had a dishwasher before, and it was my husband doing the dishes. He's very happy that I'm working on this routine. Two happy faces!!!

Growing roots

2011-10-01T13:45:00.011+02:00

We finally moved. I can't remember having been so tired before. At 8.30 am, the movers came along, and at 6pm I handed over the keys to the next couple who would rent the house we happily lived in for about three years. I know those people and we agreed that we would leave the house as clean as possible, without trying to work miracles. We had the right to stay there five more dauys, but they asked if they could move the day after already, so that seemed a good deal. Except for the fact my husband is just not capable of leaving the house not as clean as he wants it. So after the movers left to our new adress, where I was waiting for them, he and his mother spent almost four hours cleaning the empty house. I think it never has been that impeccable before. So the week after was... heavy. We had slept way too little the weeks before the move and the week after, we still had to find our way into the house. Now it's starting to fit me, and I love living here.

We moved from a city to a little village on the countryside. I love it. I try to do my errands as locally as possible and I love all those people who just seem to be more passionate about what they're doing. I immediately fell in love with the local greengrocers: I can mail them my shopping list every Sunday and by Wednesday I have the freshest produce to pick up after school. And they were even glad and enthusiastic I asked!

I love the view of my new 'hometown' when I come back from work. I feel like I belong here. And that's a really nice thing to feel when you just moved...

About plates with a lot on it

2011-08-25T21:35:00.003+02:00

I didn't stay in Italy and we haven't moved yet.

But things are hectic around here, and my days are filled with boxing up, phone calls with banks, movers, notaries and so on.

Monday the house is ours, Thursday school is starting again (still have a few reunions to go), in two weeks, we change towns. My husband changed jobs and starts working for his new bosses in one month, which causes a lot of stress because he is someone who really appreciates stability. It was his choice, and I believe it was the best choice, but he still feels like a traitor, which, of course, is nonsens.

And as if all this wasn't enough, yesterday my mum called to tell that my sisters husband (boyfriend, but he's older than me and for some reason, 'boyfriend' doesn't fit him well) is in hospital. I texted my sister, but no reaction yet, I suppose she's very busy and already has to talk a lot to a lot of people. I hope I'm doing the right thing by just texting her I'm there for her. I hope she'll call me if she feels the need to, I don't wanna bother her by being the zillionth person asking her what happened.

Further updates will have to wait for now, I think. I hope to start writing again once we're settled in the new house. In the meantime, I might do a post about what a good driver should be like. Driving a lot on holiday (actually, co-driving, because I didn't get the wheel for a minute - men and their cars!!) made me, let's call it 'philosophic'. So bear with me later this week!!

And we're off!

2011-08-02T19:30:00.003+02:00

It has been a bit quiet here, and it will be for another three weeks as we leave tomorrow. But I did accomplish a lot. First of all, there was the wedding. My heart melted when I saw them together. Despite the cloudy weather, it was such a beautiful day! Second, I've received a lot of boxes from friends that have moved recently. Even if it doesn't look like it, I've been able to box up almost all my books and some kitchen stuff that isn't needed right away. I also made my neighbours happy by giving them over 30kg of cooking magazines that I didn't want to move, but I was rather reluctant to just throw them away. The girl was thrilled, and even if she does throw them away, at least someone else will have enjoyed them as much as I did.

And now I have to pack our bags, I'm really looking forward to the trip! See you all in a few weeks!

Wordless Wednesday (sort of)

2011-07-27T11:45:00.002+02:00

piles of laundry to wash

way too many dishes to do

loads and loads of things to box up

But today won't be the day things get done. I have a rehearsal planned. Yay!!

Menu Plan Monday

2011-07-25T08:55:00.007+02:00

This week, I've been mostly eating...

I loved how both purees (carrot and aubergine) turned out,

I was surprised by the easiness of the little blueberry pies (a roll of ready-made shortcrust pastry, divide into four, divide 250 gr of blueberries and 75 gr of sugar over the four pieces of pastry. Pop in the oven for 20 minutes on 180° and that's it!).

I had my turn on a marinated chicken salad,

and my husband cooked for the first time! He made a delicious spaghetti alla carbonara, following the instructions of Rick Stein's Mediterranean Escape. Yeah, we've been eating well last week!

This week, I'm hoping to make:

- mushroom cocotte

- potato gratin with pork fillet

- shrimp penne (again, but I didn't have the chance to make it yet)

- parmesan-veggie filled zucchini (see comment above)

- corn soup

There will be a lot of rehearsing this week, and with our trip to Italy coming up, I'll try to finish up what's laying around in my freezer, so this will be the last menu plan for a while. Menu plans wile be back the last week of August!

Looking for more ideas? Go check out the Organizing Junkie!!

The love of singing

2011-07-22T20:11:00.002+02:00

I love to sing. Like in ... LOOOOOOVE to sing. I'm a pretty good singer, but I don't think I have a nice voice. I prefer doing backing vocals, because I like harmony, looking for lines that go well together... Sometimes friends ask to sing at their marriage. I just adore doing that. But I always ask if they know someone who can accompany me on the guitar, or the piano. I'm a acceptable piano player myself, but I don't like singing and playing at the same time if it's a performance and it are songs that I have not written myself. For some reason, there's always a good musician amongst the friends or family of the couple. And it always works out.

Today I had a rehearsal for the wedding next week. It's one of the very best friends of my husband. They grew up together and with one other boy. The three of them were inseperable, the three musketeers. When I got married, and my husband came for me, they were there, and I swear, they looked more nervous than my husband did. It was just cute.

His future wife had become a good friend of mine too. I'm honored to sing at their wedding. They asked me and never heard me sing before. I used to sing a lot when I was between 16 and 22, but then I changed towns, and there was just no one who knew.

So this is an opportunity for me, and I would lie if I'm not secretly hoping that people are gonna like it and maybe ask me to sing at other occasions. I'm really lucky 'cause the person who is playing the guitar was impressed enough to make plans to do something together in the future. I'm so happy with that! I've always wanted to sing, work together on something, and working with a specific goal in mind. I don't want to be in the spotlights, I would happy enough to do backing vocals (which I'm good at), don't wanna make a career out if it, I just want to sing.

It might be that a dream comes true.

Aubergine puree

2011-07-21T19:20:00.001+02:00

Aubergines (eggplant) in my garden are very small and I discovered that one of them has a hole in it (as if it was eaten by a woodpecker lol). So I had to do with the ones at the supermarket. I really liked how it turned out.

Take two aubergines and one red capsicum. Cut the capsicum in half lengthwise and take the seeds out. Put the vegetables in the oven, capsicum with the cut down and roast them slowly till they're tender (it took me 45 minutes in a 175°C oven). Turn the aubergines regularly.

When tender, take the skin of the capsicum (should be really easy now), and dice it. Hold apart. Scrape out the aubergine, leaving the skin for what it is. Put it in a blender, together with some chopped garlic and a bunch of basil. Pour a good splash of olive oil over it, season with salt and pepper and blend.

Put the puree in an oven-proof dish, add the diced capsicum and some more oil, if you like. Keep warm in a low oven, while preparing whatever you serve, in my case it was a beautiful lamb filet (the original recipe called for red perch). I served thinly sliced bread that I grilled in olive oil with it.

1001 Books: Professor Unrat - Heinrich Mann

2011-07-20T15:03:00.001+02:00

As I already mentioned, this book isn't exactly a page-turner. It's not a book that you should savour page by page either. It was just hard for me to read. It's not a difficult story, the language is a bit old, but that's not the problem. I think it was so hard for me because I couldn't find any way to like the main character. Even in his most pittiful state, he's just unsympathetic.

It's all about an old teacher, professor Raat, nickname Unrat, (I like the Dutch translation - Metz, which is a German sounding name, and can be turned easily in the Dutch 'mest', which means 'manure'. I think that association is important for the story) who is old, bitter, stiff. He's a widower and turned away from his son as the boy wasn't very interested in school but preferred the company of women. His students dispise them and everywhere he goes, he hears his nickname. Even if it's harmless, he takes this as a personal affront and takes his revenge in nearly impossible assignments. He's in war with his students and with his city, where almost everyone was a former student of his, or at least somehow related to his students.

He hopes to make them pay one day and looks for occasions to bring them down. One of the students he hates the most is Lohmann, who never uses the nickname (and that's an even bigger affront for Raat) and is a clever young man. As one day Raat finds a poem of Lohman dedicated to a certain Rosa Fröhlich, he finally thinks being able to catch the boy. So he tracks down the woman, only to weirdly fall in love with her. Raat is not what you would call the loving kind of man, but he's helpless, not knowing how to express the feeling and always connecting it to some kind of revenge on his students.

As the story develops, you start to feel that a positive outcome won't be possible. There's just too much hatred and bitterness involved. It actually made me feel bad, there are hardly any nice persons in the book. Maybe the young Ertzum - his love is pointless, but at least it seems real...

Not the book to bring at the beach, unless maybe it's storming outside. Ice and hail are just a better background for this book...

What are you reading right now??

Sausages and carrots with a summer twist

2011-07-19T11:39:00.007+02:00

Whenever my husband says "this one's a keeper", I know that I have to jot down the recipe he's referring to. Problem is: there i absolutely no consistancy at all where I put it, so we forget about it. This time we won't!

Actually this is a really plain ans simple recipe. It's about carrots and sausages.

Cook or steam the carrots (I always use 500 gr of local carrots, use the young ones , with their soft and subtle flavor). While cooking, bake the sausages on high heat till they're brown. Then turn to low heat and add one onion, sliced in rings. I like my onions to be mild and sweet, but you can use any kind you like. While the sausages and onions are getting ready, turn back to your carrots. Drain if necessary, add some pepper and salt, and the big twist: the juice of one orange. Mash them roughly and taste again. I know my husband is not too keen on orange on it's own, so I added a little honey to soften it up, but that's optional.

I served it with a simple potato mash, but I would certainly add some spring onions next time, it would go very well with the sunny taste of the carrots. Enjoy!!

Menu Plan Monday

2011-07-18T10:32:00.008+02:00

this week at

Nah. Last week I didn't cook nearly half of what I wanted to. One new recipe that I found, based on a special kind of cabbage I had laying around, and looked really promising, turned out yuk, mainly because of chewing-gum like veil. I was mad at myself, cause I already doubted the kind of meat indicated by the recipe, but I followed it anyway, so basically I messed up a beautiful, pricy piece of meat. I hate it when that happens.

We did enjoy skinn-baked salmon though, and I had my favorite comfort food, pumpkin risotto.

So this week a few things on repeat:

- apple compote with cinnamon and raisons (I still have quite few apples laying around)

- watercress-chicken salad with mango chutney

- parmesan-veggie stuffed zucchini

- aubergine puree with lamb

- potato mash, carrot puree and sausages

- shrimp penne

Making the best of it

2011-07-17T16:33:00.005+02:00

Today I felt slightly better. Still thinking a lot about pregnancy, but we're not in a position yet to force nature, so we'll just have to wait. Cleaned out the bathroom cabinets, threw away a lot of junk that was in there. Read a few pages in my book, while taking a long, hot bath.

I enjoy reading a lot, and a few months ago, I made up my mind to focus on the 1001 books-list by Peter Boxall. It takes a bit more effort, but most of the times I really like the books suggested. The one I'm reading now is the Dutch translation of Professor Unrat, by Heinrich Mann. It's not a huge amount of pages, but it's not what you would call a page turner. I hope to finish it tonight, so I might post a review later this week.

Another plan for tonight is planning our trip to Italy. My parents rent a little house in Tuscany for one month, and the children are all invited to pass a few days over there. My husband took a few days extra, so we can visit some towns on the way. I'm really excited, we always wanted to go to Italy and it's such a great opportunity!

Blah

2011-07-16T20:09:00.004+02:00

Today wasn't a good day. It was rainy and grey, the recipe I wanted to try for dinner didn't turn out as it should have (I hate it when that happens, especially since the veil I bought for it was quite expensive), I didn't clean the things I wanted to and my cycle is an unexpected mess, while I desperately hoped to be pregnant this month.

Blah.

Flipflop Friday

2011-07-15T13:43:00.005+02:00

Nothing says summer to me like flipflops. It was not a love at first sight. I used to hate any kind of shoe that wriggled itself between my toes.

But then I stumbled upon a pair that stole my heart and accompanied me for two whole summers, before they completely fell apart. I know I would seem like an idiot if I cried when putting them in the bin, so I didn't. But I would've brought flowers to their grave if I had known where they were barried.

I refused to pay a lot for just a piece of material with two ribbons. I discovered that I preferred the cheap plain rubber ones anyway. They are soft two walk on, hardly cost anything and come in a lot of designs that make me feel happy. We're talking bright colors, flowers, polkadots.

I don't have beautiful feet, but I don't care. At the end of summer, they are dressed with two white lines that carry the memory of a long and warm summer. Which makes that I secretly wear flipflops in my boots in November. Hah!

Do you like to wear flipflops?

Best friends

2011-07-14T20:00:00.009+02:00

Going to university was a huge step for me. Leaving home, having a room in a different town, leaving my boyfriend every Sunday night... I was really nervous, mostly because I didn't know one person who was going to the same university. But I struggled through, and there was a girl who made that progress a lot easier for me. It just clicked, from day one. We had a great time and decided to rent a room in the same building when we moved to another university town two years later. Those were great days. She was my best friend.

Now, that's a definition I hardly ever use anymore. I don't have a youth friend that I see on a regular basis. Over the past few years, I also often had to start over at a different school. It's only since the last year I have the impression I can build lasting friendships with collegues, because there's actually a chance we'll stay collegues for a while.

This doesn't mean I lost contact with all of my friends though. And that girl, let's call her Chili (she's a good cook and back then, she made rather spicy dishes - I remember my husband getting drunk by trying to extinguish the fire drinking way too much wine), well she gave birth to a beautiful boy three months ago. We were on honeymoon, but even if we would'nt have been, chances are little I would have visited her right away. For some reason, I never manage to visit babies when there still really little. Turns out in many cases, people appreciate you don't come those first weeks.

She told me about the first weeks, how tough they were. Her little boy came to the world, one week late, as a stargazer and has suffered from the process. He stayed in a NICU the first few days and had to stay at the hospital to grow a little stronger. She told how she felt nervous when she could take him home, because they had to do it by theirselves then. Feeding wasn't that obvious and those first weeks just everyone came to see them and say hello and be enthousiastic and stuff, while she was feeling insecure and not yet had had the time to really bond with her little one. I talk about "her", but I mean her and her husband as a couple. They're a beautiful, strong couple and he's an amazing father, although he doesn't have any connection with kids in general. But this one's different, and you can tell even only by looking at the pictures.

So we talked the whole afternoon and it felt so good. I instantly remembered why I loved her so much. She's really delicate and she waited for me to come up with the things I worry about (that's for another post), without pushing. So different compared to all those people who seem to think they have the right to know when we are going to have a baby. As if having a baby is something you just decide, like buying a house. As if everyone is pregnant after just one month of trying, or even by accident. She's actually the only person who didn't bring it up herself, but supposed that I would tell her if I wanted to.

Hmmm, I do sound frustrated a little. But that's a whole different story. For now, I'm just so thankful for old friends. For honest friends. Who don't tell you just the glorious stuff, but the mistakes and the insecurity too. Because that's what life is like. Kids don't come with a manual. Friends neither. But both of them change your life for the best...

When do you call someone a friend? Has it changed over the years?

Comfort food: pumkin risotto

2011-07-13T17:17:00.007+02:00

It's only recently since I discovered, and admitted to myself, that I'm a real emotional eater. Especially when I'm alone. Don't get me wrong there: I'm alone quite often, and I learned to enjoy it. Of course I prefer my husband to be with me most of the time. But I'm a teacher, and I'm home way more often than he is. That's not his fault. And I don't want him to give up on the things he really likes. Like going to his sports training, or watching his favorite soccer team play a game. He's a person who gets stressed easily and suffers from it. The kind of job he has, doesn't help. At first, I was upset, as it seemed to me that being with me wasn't a priority for him. Frankly, I think it isn't. He loves me, he's the most faithful man I ever met, and it would make him restless to spend his spare time just sitting here with me. He's a man of action. I think we balance each other out.

So I learned to cope. And now I have to admit that I even love those nights I have for myself. The problem is that I crack for a bag of crisps. And I can't put it away, so I finish it, every time again! Crisps apparently are comfort food to me. Not that I am sad, but it feels warm and comfy to me.

There are only a few things that beat it. One of them is something I only prepare for myself, because my husband doesn't like it: risotto. Bright orange, soft, creamy pumpkin risotto. And I cheat while making it...

Take an onion, chop it up, and glaze it in a good knob of butter. Add the risotto rice, make sure it's well covered with butter, it should be shiny and a little more translucent. Then I often add a chopped red bell pepper (sweet pepper, capsicum). And then, the big secret: add, bit by bit, pumpkin soup, right from a pack! You need some time to stir all the time, and need to stay close to avoid burning the bottom, but when the rice is cooked, tadaaaaaa: gorgeously coloured risotto. To finish it off, I even dare to add a splash of cream. Because I love cream... (hmmm, do I see a pattern here? - why are all things that are obviously not all too good for you so delicious and fat?)

What's your favorite comfort food?

Bye bye veggie-box

2011-07-12T17:51:00.001+02:00

So there it was, my very last organic veggie-box in this town. We move out in September, and we're on holiday next month, so it would be a hassle to pick it up and probably lots of it would get thrown away. I really liked it though...

However, I'm not sure I will look for the same thing in our new town. Er... village. Yes, we move to a much smaller (not the house, the town), quieter, countryside-like place! It will be a big change, because I've lived my whole life in a town, our at least at walking distance from it. I have done my research though, and I know there is a great organic produce grocery store very close. Most of the produce they offer is even locally grown. Now, I have to confess, I'm not one of those people who go crazy about buying organic. Most of the time, I can not afford it. I try to buy a bit more local though. If I can choose between tomatoes grown in Belgium or those grown in Spain, I'll pick the first ones. To be honest, I think that buying locally has far more positive impact on the planet than buying organic.

Back to my homework: even with such a store nearby, I'm not sure I will take another weekly veggie-box subscription. It was a very nice thing to try, but after half a year I can say I threw away too many of it. Mostly because I never knew what was going to be in it, so I couldn't plan ahead. And with the picking up on Tuesdays, I simply had no time to first get that box, go home, figure out a menu with what was in it, and then go to the supermarket to get everything else needed. I have seen that the grocery store puts on their site what the box will offer that week, but I'll have to figure out how long before the actual pick-up day that is.

It is true that a subscription like that gives you the opportunity to discover new vegetables, or vegetables that are hard to get in the normal supermarkt, because for some reason people don't like to prepare them. The last months I really enjoyed the fresh broad beans and black salsifies. Cauliflowers were small but had the best taste ever. I hated the pears though, and it was always the same mushy kind.

One thing I didn't like about the subscription was that I hardly ever could match the recipes I wanted to try that month with what was in the box. The thing is, I like to cook. And I'm truly addicted to cooking magazines. I actually use them. Before the subscription, I made a menu plan with the recipes I found in there, but with that box... that didn't work out anymore. And I missed it. So I'll be glad to have that kind of freedom again.

I'll enjoy this last box, and I'm certainly gonna miss the nice lady who knew my name right from the start. She is a good listener and gives you the feeling you're a person, rather than just a client. That's one thing you won't find in a supermarket...

Where do you get your vegetables? And what's your opinion on organic/local food?

Menu Plan Monday

2011-07-11T21:07:00.005+02:00

I thought it would be a good idea to make a fresh start here. And what's a better opener than a peek into my menu plan? I used to plan very strictly, but that didn't work out too well. I love to cook, but sometimes I just don't feel like making what I planned. So I think I'll just jot down a week's worth of ideas...

- apple compote with cinnamon and raisins (I have quite a few apples laying around)

- watercress-chicken salad with mango chutney

- salmon with broccoli, zucchini and kale, mashed potatoes

- parmesan-veggie stuffed zucchini

- pumpkin-bellpepper risotto

- eggplant puree with lamb

- potato-herring-apple salad

I might post some of the recipes later and add a link to them. Probably there will also be some vegetable-based side dishes. Tomorrow I'm picking up the last organic veggiebox of my subscription, as we move to another town in two months. I enjoyed my subscription a lot, although I think there are a few things that didn't work out for me. More about that later.

Have a tasty week!

Look for more menu plans @ orgjunkie!